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Thursday, January 29, 2015

#REVIEW: The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work by John Gottman

Title: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert
Series: none
Author:  John M Gottman
Published Date: May 16, 2000
Publisher: Harmony Publishers
Format: ebook
Pages: 288
ISBN: 9780609805794
Genre:  self-help
Add to: Goodreads
Purchase: Amazon

Rating: 4 stars

Synopsis: Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages.       
This book is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward in their approach, yet profound in their effect, these principles teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Being thoughtful about ordinary matters provides spouses with a solid foundation for resolving conflict when it does occur and finding strategies for living with those issues that cannot be resolved.    
Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr. Gottman's workshops, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the result of Dr. John Gottman's many years of closely observing thousands of marriages. This kind of longitudinal research has never been done before. Based on his findings, he has culled seven principles essential to the success of any marriage.
Maintain a love map.
Foster fondness and admiration.
Turn toward instead of away.
Accept influence.
Solve solvable conflicts.
Cope with conflicts you can't resolve.
Create shared meaning.
Dr. Gottman's unique questionnaires and exercises will guide couples on the road to revitalizing their marriage, or making a strong one even better.

My Review: I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
I needed to read this book. There are so many times when I feel like I’m too busy to stop and actually listen to my husband, or I’m too frustrated with the situation to hear him out or give him the support he needs. With this book, I have made a concerted effort to put down whatever I am doing and face him to listen to whatever he feels he needs to tell me about. I’ve learned to be more supportive, even if it may be a situation I may not agree with.
And you know what? I’ve seen a difference. He’s more willing to talk to me, and we’re happier than we were. Or maybe I’m happier and its spilling over into my marriage. Either way, it doesn’t really matter, as long as my marriage improves, right?

I don’t like how the author constantly talks about how great he is, and how he’s done this, this, and that. However, once you get past all that me stuff, the book has some very useful things in it that make it definitely worth reading.

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